Step 2: Search facebook for it, and then filter the resultsto only be pages (by clicking on the tab that says Pages).

Step 3: Find a page named after said object, become a fan.

Here’s an example of this process at work:

If you don’t see the problem, here let me help with my trademarked bright pink spraypaint in mspaint:

Wow.

Mad props to d10 for showing me this. If you get weirded out, go tell him about it.

FL: Crocodile Chomps Off Zoo Worker’s Arm

So last week I blogged about the critically acclaimed classic, “Chrismas Shoes.”

The dear friend Emmuh posted a comment. I would link to it, but you’re about to see it in a picture.

Anyway, I get an email whenever a comment gets posted. Here’s the email… make sure to notice what gmail tries to do:

Wow…. gmail is asking me to meet Jesus, and to schedule a meeting with him on my Google Calendar. You see, gmail reads through your email and tries to find language that indicates that something needs to be scheduled. In this case, it saw “when momma meets Jesus tonight” in Emmuh’s comment, and decided that meant we needed to meet with Jesus that night. awesomesauce^2.

FL: “PENGUIN! TURN MY PC OFF! THX!

And why is that? Well, one reason, and one reason alone. We’re gonna have to dig deep into the archives to retrieve it though.

Click that image for a blast to the past. The reason this Christmas is gonna pwn so hard, is that I heard the critically acclaimed seasonal hit, “Christmas Shoes” a full two days before Thanksgiving.

Time to bust out the famous Christmas-Shoes-o-meter:

Ahh. That feels nice.

FL: (courtesy Josh) National Geographic reports on a family only able to walk on all fours. – amazing.

At one of the locations at the store, one I don’t goto too often, the manager is a retired Marine sniper. He had a problem with the speakers on his work PC and couldn’t get them to come back on. He told me that whenever I got a chance, to head over that way and fix ‘em.

So a few days ago, I cruised over there and tinkered with the speakers for a few minutes, and got them blasting music once again. As I turn to leave, he says, “Hey Eric, thanks man. You ever need someone shot, you let me know.”

Priceless.

Just for the record, I will not be redeeming this favor, evar.

One final note, he has a bumper sticker, here is the artist’s (me) dramatization of it:

FL: How much does the water in a hurricane weigh? These guys make a guess, and it’s probably more than you’d guess.

Up until this week, I had not said that word very many times, or even paid very much attention to mine, and I doubt you’ve ever paid that much attention to yours.

Before I get too far into this, I’ll let you know that this is gonna be moderately graphic, and kinda wierd. If that doesn’t appeal to you, see you tomorrow =).

Anyway, woke up two days ago, and it hurt like hell to swallow. Like, real bad, a sharp sting every time I had to swallow. I staggered to the bathroom, and opened my big ole mouth. There hung my uvula, approximately a quarter inch wide, and, as far as I could tell, 2-3 inches long. I can’t say for sure, because it dissappeared behind my tongue, and was resting on top of it. It was blippin gross. Here’s a picture of a healthy uvula:

(if you wanna make this super interactive, quick, go look in the mirror at your own uvula. I bet it looks leet.)

Anywho, that’s a normal one. Let’s see if I can visually indicate what mine was like:

I don’t feel like this captures the essence of how big a deal this was to me, MSpaint.exe sometimes can’t come through like it should for me. Nevertheless, imagine with me. The solid red area is what I could see, and the dotted-line indicates the part that went down behind my tongue, that I couldn’t see. It could have been up to a half inch longer than shown in that picture, its hard to say.

Anyway, it sucked. Bad.

I went to the doctor’s office, fortunate enough to get an appointment around noon that day. The physician said that this was fairly common (yeah ok, I’ve never heard of it, don’t make it sound normal, cause its not normal, lady), and she would give me a shot of steriods, and strep test. Sounds good to me, drugs ahoy, mateys.

Now, some of you have been with me on this ‘ere blog for a long time. Others, just a few months. And others, this might be your very first post. Before I continue, I need to reflect on the past, as in this situation, it helped me to not repeat it. Please read these two posts about Eric’s… encounters with nurses with needles in the last year, if you haven’t already. Heck, read em again even if you have read them before. See if I care! -> Well hello, madam! and Open letter to nurses, whatnot.

So this big ole black lady comes in, one of the nurses, and brings a syringe and a cotton swab for pwning my tonsils for the strep test. So I start chatting with her, and it occurs to me, that this is my chance to see where this lovely needle is going to be, uh, inserted in me. I say to her, “hi, where is this shot going to be injected?”

she replies, “in your arm. either one you want!” oo I get to choose, how exciting!

I reply, “oh, thats good. the last time I got a shot, she said it was going to be in the hip, and it was actually right… here”, as I point to my bootay, or rather, where my back meets my legs.

she replies, “oh you mean the buttocks? yeah, if I was gonna do it there, I would say it would be in your butt”

Owned at this point, I reply, “oh, right.”

This shot was a double-dose of steriods, which apparently is what made my now-smaller uvula go down. I asked her if it would help me bench press more, she said no.

One thing I did learn in this experience, was a sweet new pick-up line (no, I don’t use pick-up lines, but just imagine how sweet this one would be if I did):

Hey, baby, wanna see my uvula? It’s swollen.

And I’m done.

FL: Flowchart for geek gifts – this is good stuff, and generally true. It’s especially timely, as one Josh Brown 2 recently confessed the following to me:

Josh Brown 2: i got a podcast coming up in about 5 minutes
muahahhahaha
i have become a techy though
i can’t deny it anymore

Eric: nope
your a geek
and a techy

Josh Brown 2: true enough

Who am I to try and confound such a direct command.So, on that note:

One love, one heart
Let’s get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin’, “Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right.”
Sayin’, “Let’s get together and feel all right.”

Today’s funny link is absolutely astounding:

The Sequel to Rock, Paper, Saddam, “The Painting”. Props to Mr. Allen Harris for graciously providing this powerful link.

Here’s your teaser for it:

Saddam:
Oh, no, it’s one of those combo deals. Koran goes in the front, decorating tips in the back.

It was a day much like any other. Eric Hendersºn, also known as Bathroom Warden #721 was critiquing the design and setup of local area resturants.

But then this image was leaked to the media:

As is plainly obvious, the hypocrisy of Mr. Hendersºn living in a house with horribly designed toilet/door placement cannot be ignored.

On Tuesday, when the story broke, there were widespread calls for Eric’s resignation as a highly coveted Bathroom Warden #721.

———————————————-

Okay, okay, enough with the news-story approach to blogging, its kind of lame.

Basically, the house the wife and I move in to in 3 days is really, really odd. Things are designed with no thought what so ever, most walls aren’t straight, the floor isn’t even reasonably flat, and some of the cabinets must have been designed by monkies.

Other than that, its great!

The toilet issue is of special concern to me. Basically, no matter how you, uh, use the toilet, your gonna get smacked by that door if someone opens it. This will cause several problems, of course, depending on how your using it. My thoughts on this matter are… there’s gonna be alot of peein goin on w/ the door open, that’s all I’m sayin.

F to da’ L – DuctTapeFashion.com – This stuff is elite. Yes, you can lose man points for buying duct tape produced items instead of making it yourself (yes, its happened to me, aww =( ), but I let the masters handle what they are masterful with. And for these guys, its duct tape. Or something.

I think we can all agree that this is *PLAINLY* a picture of a ship. Or boat. sea-going vessel. you get the idea.

I was standing in front of the whiteboard as I drew this masterpiece.

I hear the voice of Mitsuo, the 60-something Japanese gentleman that comes to ELS with greater consistency than anyone I’ve ever known. He says, “move out the way. I can’t see the animal.”

At that moment. A part of my MSpaint/whiteboard/whatever artist-soul died.

Why I Will Never Have A Girlfriend – Poor guy. Some guys say this, but this guy proves it. Bummer.

Let’s do alittle geography lesson real quick:

For the map reading-impaired, the place where the pink arrow (yeah its pink, don’t hate) is where I was. The red line is where the end of Georgia is, and the beginning of South Carolina is.

For me to hear a station for both Carolina’s (and NOT Georgia), it would actually have to be further… uhh… inland from the border, or something. All I can say is, I’m impressed with them boy’s ability to transmit a signal. Roxx on, whoever you’s is.

For more entertainment, here’s some rap lyrics I was tickled at today (entertainingly, heard on the station that was mentioned aboved). Keep in mind that since the FCC is tightening up restrictions on langage on the radio, that the rappers have gotten alittle more clever in figuring out new and inventive ways to say “me and a female I am attracted to engaged in sexual intercourse.” That said… hereya go:

hotter than a bisquick biscuit out the oven
your baby mama go on missions to get this lovin
we kissin and huggin she never pick her phone up
You be lookin for her while we doin the grown up

You can thank the fine lyricists of Pretty Ricky for that gem. Yeah, thats the name of their group. No, none of them are named Ricky. No, I won’t comment on whether I think they are pretty or not. For what its worth, song title is “Your Body.”

Funny link is musically inclined as well. I think this one will go down in history (hahahah) as one of the classics in funny-link-dom. Basically, people take pop songs (well any type of song), and then have those voices that read words out loud to you from online dictionaries try and sing the song, using different tones and both genders. If you know the song, I highly recommend AQUA – “Barbie Girl” as a starter one to listen to. Dictionaraoke.org – The Singing Dictionary