Burrito: The new sandwich.
(blatantly stolen from Jeremy. his find)
So yesterday, there was a huge scandal that rocked the world. Basically, a Panera bread co. was in a mall, they had an agreement with the mall that no other sandwich shops could open a store in that mall. A mexican grill came to the mall asking to open a store there, and Panera had a hissy fit saying that burritos are basically sandwiches, so this mexican grill was a sandwich shop.
They ended up going to court. Results? No, burritos aren’t sandwiches. (FL)
Of course, being the onery little bugger I am, I couldn’t just let this stand:
me: this just in
appeal of the burrito sandwhich debate
burritos are in fact sandwhiches
more news as it becomes available.
Jeremy: wheres your sources
me: 25 years of sandwhich and burrito eating
I can’t tell them apart
Jeremy: eric
me: 25 years of experience versus some lame-o judge
Jeremy: you weren’t eating burritos when you were .5
me: legislating from the bench
Jeremy: yes POINT FIVE
me: I overcompensated for the last 20 yrs to make up for the first 5
oh I saw your point five, tough guy
Jeremy: judge rules
people have been converted
4:33 PM Aileene: they aren’t?!!!
what?!!
so all this time i was wrong about burritos?
me: see?
she knows
Jeremy: shes latino
she wins
me: she’s on the side of all that is holy, good, and just
burritos are sandwhiches.
Jeremy: lorenzo says they are not sandwiches
hes spanish
me: its a mexican rest. in question
Jeremy: so i consider him an expert
me: not spanish
get your nations straight
Jeremy: they all came from the same tree
texas
mexico
spain
same thin
me: maybe spanish burritos aren’t sandwhiches
and mexican ones are
crazy mexicans
Jeremy: nope
me: yes
dude, spain is in EUROPE
Jeremy: next you’ll be calling quesadilla’s sandwiches
crazy white man
me: have you ever seen where spain is on the map?
Jeremy: ver good
and where did mexican people come from anthropomorphically?
me: johns mom (inside joke)
Jeremy: BOO YAH beat the 10 syllable word
ROFL
me: beatten
Jeremy: thats mean
me: with a stick
Jeremy: don’t pull taht out
me: its done
it can’t be undone
It has never crossed my mind that a burrito might be a sandwich, and it opens up a whole debate. What about wraps, and gyros, and stromboli!!!! I say we draw the line at two slices of bread with something in the middle.
Problem is, the definition is already wider. For example, this morning I looked at the package of oreo’s we had in our kitchen. Here’s what it says:
“CHOCOLATE SANDWICH COOKIES”
Lest we forget about it’s cousin, the ice cream SANDWICH.
Sadly, bread is not the defining factor the sandwich anymore, it’s having a layer you can hold with your hands and not get messy that enables you to munch on the tasty middle.
Game, set, match, taco.
perhaps your definition of bread needs some work. I just looked at the oreos in my kitchen, and the main ingredient is enriched flour, thus it is bread, has two pieces of “bread” and something in the middle. Same thing with ice cream sandwich. Knuckle sandwich gives me some issues, but I stand by my definition.
Works for me.
Flour Tortilla Recipe – main ingredient is flour. While it lacks yeast, so do oreos and ice cream sandwiches.
do you make a “sandwich” with a burrito though? I think not. There is one shell, and it is wrapped completely. A quesadilla, I would give you, but alas Qdoba is not a quesadilla shop, they are a burrito shop. Panera is not a pizza place despite the new crispani’s.
Let’s consult Mr Webster:
noun – a : two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between b : one slice of bread covered with food
verb – 1 : to make into or as if into a sandwich; especially : to insert or enclose between usually two things of another quality or character
See, Brad is on my side too. So I have two latinos (considered as experts), and two white doods. That’s all I need for a majority.
Excuse me.
Brad is short for “Ed Bradley”, here’s a picture:
pic
Does that look like a ‘white dood’ to you?
Even better. I have all the minorities covered. Diversity trumps.
Ok, so a sandwich is defined by two pieces of the same thing, with something different inbetween. A threesome, for example, is two ladies with a man inbetween. A sandwich in my favorite card game, Egyptian Rat Screw, is any 2 same cards with anything else inbetween. I.e. Jack + 3 + Jack= sandwich. So, yeast or flour does not make the sandwich. The choice of 2 bread slices with meat inbetween makes it the sandwich.
Futhermore, a sandwich is also defined by its ease of making. A sandwich can be made with tomatoes, lettuce, meat, cheese. Oh, you don’t like mayo? This sandwich can be made without it. Whereas a burrito has tasty meat and cheese, but you can’t really change the ingredients. You can’t really whip one up with chicken instead of beef (at home) without a whole lot of trouble.
In conclusion, a burrito is not a sandwich.