“That Guy”

Greetings, faithful blog readers. Yesterday was my birthday, and it was a grand ole’ time. The Fish even gave me a small present, in the form of hearing “Christmas Shoes” for the 8th time. I’ve been quite upset at how often I’ve been hearing it, a mere three times in the last 10 days.

Anyway, I’d like to describe a phenomenon that I have experienced twice in my life, despite my own dismay. You see, there is an interesting effect known as the “That Guy” syndrome that I hope you never have to endure.

Put more simply, That Guy is that one person who does something that is agitating in a peculiar way, a very specific way. Let’s review the two known cases when I have become That Guy. (It seems likely I’ve been That Guy in other ways, I’m just oblivious to them.)

[supplement to EFIZ1980]
Incident #1 -
Location: Woodruff Dining Hall, Tech campus
Time: I dunno, awhile back

First, some background information. At the dining halls on Tech’s campus, 99% of diners have a special card that is charged at the beginning of the semester for all the meals a given student will eat at the dining hall. All that has to be done to account for the student using up one of his allocated meals is the quick swiping of a card through a card reader. Even when 10 or 15 students arrive all at once, it only takes a few moments to push them all through the line.

For whatever reason, I didn’t have one of these special cards during my latter years at Tech. Typically I would make spaghetti or bbq a squirrel or something like that when I was hungry. Occasionally, I would goto the dining hall for alittle variety. Woe be it to you, however, if you didn’t have one of these smartcards for quick processing on entering the dining hall.

Why is it such a woeful position to be in? Because the “cashiers” (I know, I know I’m “abusing” the whole ” thing today) only have to swipe these cards all day, their skillz at handling, counting, and processing cash money begin to fade. So if you want to eat, and don’t have a card, you’re using cash. And it takes forever. Like, a technical unit of measure of “forever.” The line behind you grows to 7,300 students, all waiting on you to get out of the way so they can zip through and eat.

When this happens, you become the famous “That Guy.” In this case, that is shorthand for “that guy who paid cash and held up the whole line for an hour and a half.” I don’t recommend it. [/supplement to EFIZ1980]

Incident #2 -
Location: All over the place. Work, home, church, on the phone.
Time: Anytime of the day. Quite often.

The second recorded use of “That Guy” is… “that guy who always tries to relate everything to his blog.” I used to not be able to understand this person, unable to believe that I could become that person.

My friends, I am now “That Guy.” Every conversation comes back to this blippin’ blog, whether it be goat naming, shots in the butt, or urinal design conventions (not a convention where professionals/etc all get together in a stadium, but like design standards… cmon you wierdo, why would you think there were urinal design conventions?? [UrinalDesignCon 2006 or Bust!!!!11])

Anyway, it’s me now. It’s very sad. I hope, if you talk to me irl, that you’ve read up on the blog, or you’re gonna be lost, or agitated that I keep mentioning it.

Another day, another post. Remember to submit your goat names. We’ve had some good entries, and theres alot more names than I was expecting. This is gonna be tough.

Today’s funny link would take several hours to read in its entirety, but that doesn’t stop me from linking it. It’s called Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About, and it is amazingly thorough. Even if you can only read a few of the bullet points, at least go and marvel at the sheer exhaustiveness of it all.