Astounding…
It’s amazing what will come out of mouth sometimes. We’ll be having a casual conversation, and all of the sudden, that crazy Eric dood says something like, “listen, women, all guys really want from a woman is… a buddy they can have sex with.”
Now, you see, some of you have already judged what I mean by this. Hey, you might be right! But you might not. What I mean to say is that, when you get past all of the “you complete me” and “you’re my soul mate” mumbo jumbo, at the root, boiled down to its most logical, what a guy wants from a woman is the ability to do the same types of things of things he does with his male friends, except being able to find them physically attractive, hawt, even.
Basically, I’ve tried to do something that usually shouldn’t be done, trying to boil something down to a logical formula, when it shouldn’t be done like that. I’m ignoring many aspects of relationships.
Also, this theory was first advanced (well, advanced to me) by the all-wise Mr. Brad Wright, or so I think so. I vaguely recall him being the first to say something along these lines, many years ago, and his wisdom has stood the test of time, or something.
I’ve done some further studies into this, as well. There’s roughly three archetypes of “buddy”, from what I’ve found:
Sports: The couple relates on a level of enjoyment of watching or playing sports, or the opposite – they both dislike or are apathetic to sports. Josh and Kim are the classical example here. Both enjoy college and pro football. Sadly, Josh loses 15 man points because Kim likes it more than him.
Music: Both in the relationship enjoy listening to or making music greatly. Ben and Gina hit this mark. Ben with his gee-tar and fiddle (read: violin), and Gina with her voice.
Geek: A kind of catch-all for many types of couples, as there are many things to be geeks about. Video games, board games, card games, computing in general, you know, stuff like that. The wife and I fall in here. I contend the wife has the geek flag, she just doesn’t let it fly as much as she should. Seraphine, level 13 druid, I’m looking at joo.
Anyway, just look around you. Certain people can be pigeonholed very easily into one of the categories. For example… a quick read of this very quickly shows us where Pamela fits in (if you can’t be bothered to click on deh link and read it, there’s a quote from a guy to Pamela re: dating advice that reads, “eat bbq, talk football and you can get any guy”. This certainly applies to the gentleman that gave the advice, who is suffering heavily from the psychological phenomena that convinces people that everyone thinks like he does. Nevertheless, we know Pamela fits into the Sports archetype, specifically Georgia football.)
Anyway, you get the idea. Tell me how I’m totally wrong or undermining the “sacred relationship between two people who were meant to be together and have been destined to come together at some amazing point in there life where the guy is walking across the street and the girl accidentally hits him with her car and then she feels real bad and totally cries and takes him to the hospital where he recovers and thinks shes really hawt and it turns out she just came out of this horrible relationship with a guy who didn’t respect her but she finds out that the hit-with-my-car-oops guy totally respects her except for this one time where she finds out that his ex-girlfriend was over at his house when she had to work late and he knows hes screwed up so he brings her flowers but other than that they are completely right for each other and feel so complete when they are in each others arms and they totally fall in love and get married and make lots of little babies and the babies grow up and become little kids and the guy coaches one of them on the soccer team and they suck real bad but eventually they find teamwork and end up playing the hardest team in the 5 and 6 yr old little league team which is the the team that snuck some 7 and 8 yr olds on their team to win and they end up playing the hard team in the finals not that little league soccer has finals but they did it anyway cause this is a magical relationship forged by the gods and anyway they play them and the one real inspirational kid on the team gets bicycle kicked in the shoulder by some mean almost 8 yr old kid and like dislocates his shoulder or something” part of relationships. You get the idea.
Oh, and to build off of yesterday’s funny link, here’s something very closely related: The Astor Cube Prank.
“the psychological phenomena that convinces people that everyone thinks like he does” would be what piaget refers to as egocentrism, and it occurs in normal children from age 2-7 in the preoperational stage of development
…so you say i need a music girl, huh? maybe that’s why i never commit? (realizing i might open a can of worms with that question i’m going to stop now.)
wow, thanks for proving that guys are really just bigger children…
and, is the not committing because the girls weren’t musical? I don’t think I’m actually going to get an answer for fear of worms, but I thought I’d ask.
and, I don’t think that the categories are limited to just one. sometimes, people can have more than one in common.
and for the record, women want the buddy part too – we just call it being best friends. we tend to make everything sound more . . . flowery!?!
I do happen to absolutely love my wonderful geek! I think I may have expressed that already in previous comments….
Eric forgot to add something.
To go along with this theory that “All a man wants is a buddy he can have sex with,” I must tell you that I am that woman. I’m every man’s buddy. Well, not EVERY man. But I am some man’s PERFECT WOMAN.
I like generalizing things to the point that everyone who reads goes, “OMG, Eric is a geek. He knows everything!”
I agree with Heather- women are the same way, to a degree. Instead of calling it a “buddy” we can do activities with, we want a “best friend” we can stay up all night giggling and talking with about our deepest, darkest secrets.
In other words, women need to be purposeful about joining their men in buddy activities, and men need to be purposeful about talking and connecting to their women on a deep emotional level.
I am not suggesting that a wonderful, complex relationship can be boiled down to only that, but it’s definitely part of the basic things that make men and women unique. I think it’s cool that it makes our relationships well-rounded with activities, deep emotional connection, and, oh yeah, the sex, too. ;)
I will also say that I knew it would be important for me to marry someone who was passionate about music and I could share that with. Jason, it’s not bad to look for someone like that! Part of having an enjoyable relationship is shared interests. Maybe you should look for them in the first place, not “never commit” because they don’t like music, or whatever.