A note about the IGNE…

A quick note about the International Goat Naming Extravaganza. I’ve received over 125 goat names so far, from about 15 people. This is alot more goat names than I expected.

Just for my own entertainment more than anything else, I’d like to go through how the winning goat name will be chosen (this will also give a slight edge to those wanting to like, actually win, or something.) I’m gonna take all the goat names, throw em on a list. Some of them will be crossed out immediately, as I simply can’t be yelling “C’mere, you Lil’ Shit!” (actual submitted name) every day of the week. Other names, the wife has veto power on, and will exercise it liberally. She especially doesn’t like Tina as a goat name.

After that, the remaining names will be rated on four categories:

Humor Value – How funny is the goat name? Will I grin when I consider that my goat is named this? Will other people think this goat name is funny? If it’s two names to be used in conjunction with each other, do they make each other funnier? This will be rated on a 1 to 10 scale.

Examples submitted that would score well in this category:
Fabio, Chuck Norris, Lemonjello and Orangello

Name Becoming Of A Goat – Simply put, does the name sound like a name a goat would have? Regardless of whether its funny, the name will have to sound like something a goat would be named. Rated 1 to 10.

Examples submitted that would score well in this category:
Myrtle, Stanley, Betty, Sonny

Name Becoming Of An Animal That Faints – A category of lesser importance, but many of the names are geared as jokes/puns due to the fact that it is, of course, a fainting goat. Rated 1 to 10.

Examples submitted that would score well in this category:
Whoopsie and Daisy, Stiff, Scape, Teeter and Totter

“Call-outability” – This category deals with how easy is it to call out the give name across the quiet pasture/field. Certain names are harder to yell… for example, it seems that a name like “Chill Right Be Money” would be a tad difficult to say too often, making it a unpleasant goat name. Other names use words that have a stigma attached to them (“Come here, Sodom, cmere little Sodom, come to Eric!”), or, as mentioned above, outright cuss words (the goat name “‘Lil Shit” would score a 0 in this category.) Also, if the names are coupled together for two goats, this category will rate how easy it is to tell them apart. If the names sound identical, then the goats might get confused, and that would suxxor. Rated 1 to 10.

Examples submitted that would score well in this category:
Goat, Guacamole (not really easy to say, but a fun word to say nevertheless), Crush and Squirt

Once they’ve all been scored, highest scoring names will be reviewed, and the one the wife and I like best, wins. So current and would-be goat-namers, good luck to you all. All goat names still should be posted as a comment to this post.

Today’s funny link contains an item that many times in my life I’ve wished I had before. iparklikeanidiot.com