CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION
My my my! What’s all the fuss about? Well… glad you asked (I’m glad, you won’t be so glad here in a second), the fuss is about urinals! Not so much urinals themselves, but the walls placed around the wondrous device that offer a modicum of privacy. This, as it turns out, seems to be part two in the “Stuff Ladies Didn’t Know, And Probably Could Have Lived The Rest Of Their Days NOT Knowing And Be Just Fine” series. See this post for part one.
To better illustrate my critique of various urinal setups, I will be using mspaint.exe, which is bundled with all Windows desktop OS’s.
A. The Super-Deluxe
Location: P.F. Chang’s, Mall of Georgia location
Ahh, the joy of privacy-enjoying men everywhere. Let’s review how it looks:
Wow. This is an amazing dream. If all bathrooms could have such a setup. I recently discussed this amazing rendering of this bathroom with Brad:
Eric: just looking at it wants you to pee in it
Brad: yeah dood, might need to make a bathroom run
Eric: I could live in the privacy that urinal affords
Brad: or print the doc and pee on it
I think that summarizes the male population of the world’s views on this bathroom setup. Bathroom designers, take note.
B. Standard Issue
Location: Most Chick-Fil-A locations
Eh, not the cadillac of urinals, but better than nothing, I suppose:
Honestly, this is about what your average expectation should be for a urinal experience. Not alot to say, it is kind of like trying to write a long review of how tap water tastes. Meh.
C. Oh Noes!
Location: Bobby Dodd Stadium, Ga Tech Campus
If Option A. was a sweet dream, then Option C. is a nightmare.
So, we’ve gone from best to worse. The maximal in efficiency, the trough system is as space-maximizing as you can get. It frightens me even to talk about it.
So there you have it, Eric’s thoroughly exhaustive (not) review of bathroom setups. That was exhausting for me. Let’s find a good funny link… hmm…the joy of pitching a good tent. I think you guys will enjoy this. Also, feel free to comment on “interesting” design choices in bathrooms you’ve seen.
Since I’m getting a comment dragged out of me…
Dood, 8 on funny, bonus points on use of time due to being concise, 7
I guess what I’m saying is it was pretty worth the time reading since it was consise, but it left you wanting more, so not as high of a score
My personal favorite is the “Shillito Pool” bathroom in Lexington. 4 stalls lined up against a wall, with 3 ft brick walls between them, no doors. You could potentially look at your neighbor’s face while you are both pinching a loaf. If anyone used these that is.
The ultimate in throne rooms is afforded to ladies. I am rawther partial (aw aw [in French accent]) to the potty at the Atlanta Athletic Club. When you enter the ladies room, there is a sitting area, just in case you need to relax from your rough country club dinner. And then you have the actual throne room, with marble tile and individual oak doors, allowing the ultimate in sound-proofing. This is important, because no girl likes to hear the splash or ker-plunk of her own or others. And if you take a look near your feet, there is a basket of necessities that are freshly scented. You also have your choice of several different lotions, perfumes, and the like. And, boys, if that isn’t enough, you have cloth hand towels to dry your hands. No paper products are in sight past that actual throne room. A lux life we live.
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This is easily the comment of the day, if for no other reason for its usage of the word “ker-plunk.”
I forgot to note one thing in my original post: a wish of mine is to have a urinal installed in my own bathroom at home. One can dream, right?
One important oversight made by Eric is that of visual intimidation imposed by some public facilities.
Case in point? Waffle House.
You guys know what i’m talking about. Full length mirror on the wall right in front of you.
I can’t handle it.
I don’t get the mirror thing? Please explain.
I love it! Eric, you seem to constantly be suprised by my no-holds-barred humor. I mean, who can’t enjoy a good ker-plunk? I personally like to cough in anticipation of the splsh, when in public restrooms. It doesn’t hide the sound, but it lets everybody know that you know that they know.
You are not alone Eric, I always told my mom I was going to install a urinal in my house one day too, and an astroturf yard so it was always green and I never had to mow it. Needless to say I didn’t do either one. I’m not a pro baseball player either, so much for dreams…
I have seen a home complete with a urinal in the master bath. The stand up shower also had two showers heads on opposite sides of the shower. Needless to say this was a bathroom in which I wanted to spend more time, but alas I could not…
Adam, I’ve been debating about how to reply to your moving comment. I’ve decided this is the best way:
The joy and subsequent feeling of loss you felt was much the same as when I first saw the following bumper sticker on a small, Japanese, sedan (like an Accord or a Corolla): It reads, “Yeah, It’s Got a Hemi.”
My joy was found in the realization that someone had thought of how funny it would be to put this on a mid-sized car that clearly didn’t have a Hemi engine(I had this idea about a year ago). My sadness was the realization that in terms of actually putting it on a car, the “someone” wasn’t me, and that this person actually followed through and slapped it on their bumper. For a live account of this roller-coaster of emotions, “the wife” was present for this squeal-fest followed by extreme pouting, she can provide more details if need be.
As for the wife’s question about the mirror, well… let’s just say that the presence of a mirror gives a different perspective than men are accustomed to, almost that you realize how much closer to naked you are in some public place than you ever thought you were in the past.
kris had a mirror in her apt… that was the toughest trip to the restroom ever… well, second only to a trough i guess
[...] question! For the uninformed, my previous blog covered a wide variety of topics, among them urinal configurations. Anyway, posts of this nature will probably end up on my old blog, if they’re good enough to [...]