#56, Eric Hendersºn!

[note: there's not really a "º" in my last name. It's just a clever way to confuse a search engine.]

Life can be funny, sometimes. Without any commentary, analysis, or any other sort of blither-blather. My name is Eric Hendersºn, which on a typical day, doesn’t really make that big of a difference.

But a couple years ago, I attended a fabulous institution which shall remain unnamed, but you guys are pretty smart, so it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.

Well, let me preface this tale by noting one thing. Using this contraption, I calculated my Body Mass Index. You already know I’m skinny, but lets put it into perspective. At 6’4″, 155 pounds, age 20-29, male, I’m in the 8th percentile of BMI of Americans with similar age/height. That blows my mind. Not because 92% of similar people weigh more than me, I already knew that… but because there’s 7% of people who weigh LESS! Where are these people?!

Anyway, I went to the institution listed above. First couple years, the fact that my name was Eric Hendersºn was just another detail… until I received a phone call:

[dramatization, not like I recorded it, sheesh]
Eric: This is Eric.
Unknown, African-American Male Caller [U,A-AMC]: Eric?
E: Yeah?
U,A-AMC: This sure don’t sound like Eric. Eric Hendersºn?
E: Yeah, that’s me.
U,A-AMC: The Eric Hendersºn on the football team?
E: [attempts to contain laughter] uhh.. I think you might have.. the wrong Eric.

You see, at Tech, everyone was able to look up any other student’s phone number and email address when logged onto the school’s student database. Our friendly U,A-AMC had typed in “Eric Hendersºn”, and instead of the EH he was looking for, he picked my phone number. Alittle searching on my part, and I discovered the following: I was one of Tech’s football team’s Defensive Ends! My height was about right, but interestingly, my weight was about 110 pounds higher than I recalled it being. Oh, and one other thing… I’m a pale, pasty white guy, which of all things, that guy is not.

Fast forward a few weeks, there’s a knock at the door of our apartment, the guy wants to talk to Eric. One of my roommates fetches me, and I go see who it is. The poor dood has a confused look on his face, unable to exactly compute the current paradigm shift he is suddenly experiencing. All he thought he knew about one Eric Hendersºn was not as it seems. Well, maybe that didn’t all happen, but I was at least able to explain to him the error of which EH he had found, and which one he hadn’t found.

Let’s do a short exercise, for the visual learners among us:
Me ["exhibit A"]:

Not Me, a.k.a. “the other Eric Hendersºn”, or “exhibit B”:

I think you can understand the gentleman-who-visited-my-apartment’s confusion.

And the one story that makes this all worthwhile… as I said before, you could retrieve the email address of any student at Tech. One day, I pull up my email, and this is what I find:

Eric,

Was really cool to talk to you on the bus. Be really cool if we could hang out again. Email me back sometime.

[some random chick name]

Noting, of course, the obvious social commentary that could be expounded upon by some chick that was talking to a hawt football player in person, and then “following-up” by searching for his email address and then EMAILING him, and not calling him… this was the golden nugget. On seeing this email, my roommates flipped out in excitement, their heads collectively grinding away at some possible way for me to mess with/hook up with this confused lass.

Either because I’m a wuss or I’m smart, I sunk their plans while they were still in their infancy, noting all the reasons and ways that I wasn’t the “famous”, or “popular”, or “ever talking to girls” Eric Hendersºn. I calmly emailed her back noting her error and where she could email the other EH.

I believe on that day, in the eyes of my roommates, I became less of a man. At the very least, the other Eric Hendersºn became more Eric Hendersºn, and I became less Eric Hendersºn.

But I’ve moved on. In fact, Eric Hendersºn has turned out to be a very successful Defense End for the Tech football game, and on multiple occasions I’ve gotten high-fives from friends and acquaintances when my counterpart gets a key tackle or sack. In fact, I’ve even gotten phone calls mid-game from friends, congratulating my hussle out there on the field, and giving it all I’ve got for the team. Eh, you know how it is, you do the best you can.

One day, I will learn how to write a short post. Today is of course not that day. But today is the time to share this nugget of joy with you. The pictures in that link will seem quite normal. A real estate listing, showing beautiful photos of the interior of a house. Nothing funny at all. I guarantee there is something hee-larious in there… I recommend taking in the amazing photography of the third photo down for alittle while. =)