Other Erics Rox Too.

[Today's post will use the many talents of another Eric, pulled from his website, Eric Conveys an Emotion. He is incredibly talented, and is coincedentally, today's Funny Link.]

Good day to you, fellow readers and newcomers. Today we shall be talking about relationships. Unfortunately for yous guyses, dear Eric knows nothing about this odd noun, at least not in any way that I can offer insightful advice to those that might ask. All of what follows is just my own perspective, use of this information is ill-advised.

Anyway, let’s jump right in. I want to talk about the interesting Pre-Relationship Stage (hereby called the PRS) in which neither person has a solid idea on what the other person is thinking, as far as whether a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship will form or not. It has the potential to be a incredibly uplifting or thoroughly depressing. The many words spoken, actions done, and thoughts pondered can be very fruitful or just leave one or both persons more confused as ever.

I wish I could speak about this from the female’s perspective. All I know, from listening in to women lamenting the pre-relationship time, is that they analyze every word and action of their pseudo-possible-boyfriends. I, however, am well acquainted with the male’s perspective, as far as my time spent in the PRS.

There are mainly three main modes in which a man will be in, while in the PRS. Let’s go through them:

1. Afraid: The beginning of a relationship can involve a risk. It’s about putting yourself out there, being vulnerable to the other person. Their reaction can be great or devastating. It seems like it would be pretty simple, if the girl is friendly to you, wants to do activities with you, and is trying to be in contact with you, it would obviously follow that they are doing their part to be open.

The problem with this is two-fold. Some people are naturally friendly to everyone, and it can be difficult to discern if the friendliness extended to you is just how they treat everyone, or special treatment towards you. Secondly, people express interest in different ways. To some, “interest” means going and doing things, whether that be concerts, dinner, or mini-golf. To others, “interest” means
conversations about what hobbies you like.

The sum total of all of this is large amounts of second-guessing and trepidation.

2. Just As Analyzing As The Chick: This one is probably the most confusing of all three. Let’s say a girl asks a guy, whom she is interested in, to go eat lunch later that day. Untangling how a person reacts to what is meant as a clear sign that says “I’M INTERESTED IN YOU”, when they see it as “I’M HUNGRY, LETS EAT SOME FOOD”, and the chain reaction that follows can be a nightmare. It leaves both people thinking the other is acting oddly or coldly some of the time, and warmly and kindly the rest of the time. One person has to step up and try and cut through all the layers of interpretation, or nothing will ever come of this.

3. Clueless: Ahh, the bane of women world-wide. The harbinger of potential-relationship destruction. To the guy, there is no PRS. It’s just life as normal. The guy could be distracted by many different things, good and bad. It could be serving the Lord, a computer game, a sport, or a hundred other things. He could even think that you (the girl) are way out his league, so to even consider
that interest is there, is Ludacris.

Nevertheless, the Clueless mode makes relationship-forming a daunting task. All I can say is, I hope that the girl has the boldness to make herself vulnerable and share openly how she feels, if this mode is the case.

So there you have it. The confusion is further multiplied by the fact that there’s no easy way to tell which mode a guy is in. So far this post has been informational in nature, as opposed to being an offering of advice. Well to you, faithful readers that made it all the way down here, I offer you the creamy nougat center of ill-advised-to-follow advice as I see it:

Step up, take charge, and don’t let days/weeks/months/years pass you by while you trying and determine the thoughts of another person. Of course there is a natural progression of time that can certainly span days/weeks/months/years where you would get to know someone alittle better, to see if your interests, attitudes, and beliefs line up with theirs, but once that happens, there’s not really anything to gain with playing this game, as far as I can see.

[this part is to the ladies]
If you think that your pseudo-possible-boyfriend should be the one to step up and take charge and put himself on the line, well, that’s your prerogative. I don’t equate the man initially taking the role of becoming vulnerable to his female counterpart an element of leadership in a relationship. Leadership more has to do with physical boundaries between the couple, what types of activities or situations are off-limits, and the like. But that’s just me. Feel free to prove me wrong in the comments to this post.
[/ladiespart]

The reason I say all of this, is because there was a person I knew a long time ago that I was a participant in this game with. I still to this day have no clue if she ever had any interest in me, and I fell well within mode #1 (Afraid), and I have no idea what she ever was thinking (hence the game!) Of course, now that I think about it, our lives ended up taking very different routes, so it’s just as well anyway.